The Power and Peace in Family Traditions

Growing up in the 1950s and early 1960s, one of my fondest memories were of the holidays. I was blessed with an abundance of cousins on my father’s side of the family. One family had eight children, another had five. Being an only child, I was definitely outnumbered. Still the joy that we all shared when we were together more than made up for times when it was just me.

There were a number of “traditions” carried out by the family elders. More than once, I’m sure there was an eye-roll from myself or one of my cousins when my aunt would insist we participate. The older we got, the more eye-rolling. Yet, despite our rebellion, there was a comfort in those traditions, a surety that if we did things a certain way we’d likely reap the benefits of a good holiday.

Once I became an adult and had children of my own I attempted to begin new traditions, assuming my way would be better. I was wrong, or at least partially wrong. One of my many attempts at change revolved around food. Or, as my mother’s much smaller family insisted, the fact that the holiday “required” banquet-like meals. Often those traditional holiday meals would include two types of meat/protein: the traditional turkey lovingly basted in ginger ale, and a ham cooked in a sauce made from pineapple chunks and juice and brown sugar. Add to that, three types of potatoes (creamed, scalloped and sweet), two or three side vegetables, homemade rolls and biscuits, cranberry sauce (also homemade), and a gelatin salad (no dangerous greens for us).

Desserts were also important and included my aunt’s no-bake fruitcake, banana pudding, sweet potato pie, lemon meringue pie, and a coconut cake.

All I wanted was to pare down on the volume. It was an argument I lost right up until the last maternal elder was gone.

Grandma Kelley’s Sweet Potato Pie

·         1 lb sweet potato (1 large or 2 medium)

·         ½ cup butter, softened

·         1 cup white sugar

·         ½ cup milk (preferably whole)

·         2 eggs

·         ½ t nutmeg

·         ½ t cinnamon

·         1 t vanilla

·         1 pie crust (9”) unbaked (deep dish is best)

1.      Boil sweet potatoes in skin for 40-50 minutes or until done.  Run cold water over the potato until able to handle and then remove skin.

2.      Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

3.      Break potato apart in large bowl, add butter and mix well with mixer.

4.      Stir in remaining ingredients and then beat on medium speed until mixture is smooth.

5.      Pour filling into unbaked pie crust.

6.      Bake for 55-60 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean.  Pie will puff up and then will sink down when it cools.

7.      Serve with ice cream or whipped cream.

Now here I am, the grandmother of five and insistent on a few “traditions” of our own. My tree still goes up on my oldest son’s December 16^th birthday (also a tradition in his house). We subscribe to the three gift rule for the grandkids (one gift they need, one they want, one they’ll wear). We’ve definitely pared down the “feast” process but there are still requirements such as the banana pudding and sweet potato pie. The responsibility for those goodies now falls to me and I’m more than happy to carry on the tradition.

What I’ve discovered over the years is that there is a definite tranquility, a peace, which comes with repeating certain happy memories. There’s also a power, a sense of personal control over both your life and the happiness of others when you adhere to the familiar.

We still tweak the process, making changes where necessary, altering our food choices to accommodate allergies and likes or dislikes. However, once we’re all gathered around the tree or the table, the love and the peace enclose us and remind of us of all our blessings.

May that same joy and peace be yours throughout this holiday season.

Nancy

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