Thursday, November 29, 2018

The Smile of an Angel by Janet Fogg


I have never, ever, been a good sleeper. Even when young I slept very lightly and would awaken in the silent, early morning hours, my mind busy with my own version of instant replay. Sometimes I’d tiptoe out of the bedroom I shared with my sister to curl up on the couch and enjoy a few rare hours of privacy and quiet. If it was close to Christmas I would plug in the tree lights and that gentle, multi-colored glow illuminated my thoughts.
     When I was nine or ten years old I was awake but warm in bed when I heard a scrape and muffled thud. I slipped out from beneath the blanket and met my mom in the hallway. Together, we peeked into the living room. The Christmas tree had tipped over and ornaments now decorated the carpet. The two of us quietly pushed the tree straight, tightened the screws that pressed into the tree trunk to hold it upright, and used a couple of dishtowels to sop up the water that had spilled from the stand. My dad, three brothers, and sister slept on.
     The silver angel atop the tree tilted drunkenly to one side as she supervised our efforts. She’d been pulled sideways by the fall and the weight of her power cord. Mom carefully straightened our cherished tree topper as I scampered behind the tree to plug in the cord. Haloed now by faint blue, the angel smiled down at us, her heart glowing.
     That angel is with us still though a hole now pierces her bodice, the heat from the bulb having melted through the old plastic decades ago. So the angel has retired. Each year she briefly supervises my sister’s Christmas decorating efforts when fragile old ornaments are unwrapped and admired, reminding us of our youth and of our mother taken from us, too young. The angel’s smile is as sweet as I remember, yet it was long ago that she plummeted to the carpet and long ago that my mom died. My tears, though, are as fresh as the day we lost her and the hole in my heart is as real as the angel’s. It shall never mend.
     And now, with the holiday season upon us, I thought I would share that long-ago adventure I shared with my mom. In a few days I’ll visit my darling sister. We’ll hug and weep a little and our love will take flight as we cherish the memory of our mother’s gentle smile, now the smile of an angel.

A Serenade to Die For by Janet Fogg and David Jackson
Soliloquy, a 2010 Holt Medallion Award Winner

10 comments:

JENNIFER WILCK said...

What a lovely memory.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Christmas memories! The sweet ache of them, that hurts even as it comforts. I, too, am a member of a sisterhood of women who lost their mothers far too young. What an absolutely beautiful tribute you've written!

CB Clark said...

What a wonderful Christmas memory...something to treasure in the years ahead. Thank you for sharing.

Barbara Bettis said...

What a beautiful memory. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Anna Taylor Sweringen said...

I'm blessed to still have my mom with me and cherish every moment with her now so I can recall those times when she's gone. Thanks for sharing your beautiful memory.

Darcy said...

I lost both of my parents when I was relatively young (though possibly not as young as you were) and earlier this year I lost the woman who was like a second mother to me. So your post really touched me. Thank you for sharing a beautiful and heartfelt memory.

Kristal Harris said...

My husband has lost both of his parents. Many times he speaks of memories just like this one. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart!

Hywela Lyn said...

What a touching memory. I lost my own mother when I was just ten years old, so sadly don't have too many Christmas memories of her, although there are many of My lovely Aunt who brought up my sister and I and is now sadly also with the angels. THank you so much for sharing.

Janet Fogg said...

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. It's a rare day when I don't think of my mom. Wishing you all a love-filled holiday season, and countless smiles!!

Ilona Fridl said...

Beautiful memory, Janet! Having lost my mother a few years ago, I have sweet memories of her to cherish.